Bop bop ba ba bah ba

I don't have much time to write, homework to attend to.

Opening weekend when very well! We all did great.

I hope that next weekend I can continue to expand my friend inventory. I feel like I haven't taken the initiative to talk to many of the cast and I would like to. I also plan on writing notes to about a dozen of them.

God is good all the time.


"Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary-- pure and holy, tried and true. With thanksgiving, I'll be a living sanctuary for you."
^^^ We sing this before each show. Best part of the pre-show routine.

This week, reach out. Not necessarily in huge ways... don't leave this part of your life with regrets and wishes to have opened up more. The only harm that can come from reaching out is being placed right back where you were. Don't be afraid.

Its been a good ride.

Last night I went to bed an hour earlier than usual and skipped out on the morning shower, hoping to up my energy... well, I don't think I have more energy, but I am in a better mood than I have been.
Tonight is our first AND last dress rehearsal. Full out, this is it. Tomorrow is opening.

I'm more nervous than anything that it will still be a mess by tomorrow at 7. And that our dances will fail, or timing will be off, or no one like it, or someone will forget their lines...


This weekend I'll be working on a project for Student Council about morals which Im pretty PSYCHED about it. I really am passionate about setting morals for yourself and following them. That's a lot of what leadership is about.


Please, if you're reading this, pray for our cast and crew and volunteers. It's been a long week already and we still have 3 more nights to go. God's power can accomplish anything.

May as well be chasing after thunder...

I have a terribly long list of things I should be doing.

I think I am beyond the point of "stressed". I don't even feel stressed out anymore, I feel like more of a zombie. Everything is routine now. It is routine for me to go to bed at 12 and wake up at 5. It is routine to spend hours on homework and sleep during class. My level of energy and effort is dropping dramatically.

At least I'm not depressed, right? I was more worried about that than anything.


Sometimes I wish people could see the expression on God's face when they act against him... All the rain and snow that falls could not measure up to the tears I'm sure God has cried for us.
Every day I try and try to influence people around me to make good choices and choose the hard thing over the wrong thing but it never seems to be enough.

I am almost emotionless at this moment, but a have a song on my mind that can sum up just a small section of the questions that fill my mind: "Should've When You Could've" Skillet

Got Jesus?

A friend of mine came up to me today and asked if I had slipped a piece of paper in their locker... I said no. It made me both curious and afraid as to what it was they thought I had done.
I later went up to them and asked about it. Someone had slipped a piece of paper with "Got Jesus?" on it in their locker and they thought it was me...

What do you want to be remembered for? As weird as it is, I am flattered that my friend thought it was me that did that. I hope it means I am giving God some glory. I hope that when I die or leave high school, people don't remember me as a convenient Catholic, but as a strong devoted Catholic who lives to please God and bring others to him.


Patience is very important for me this week. All of us must not only be patient with God but the people and circumstances around us. It will all be worth it in the end.


I hope you had a great Monday and that you continue to give greatly.

Consuming fire, fan into flame a passion for your name.

So guess what? Found my camera today. I was pulling into the Wendy's drive through, searching my pockets for cash, and would you guess? My favorite possession was in my coat pocket. I haven't worn that coat since the day I "lost" my camera.

I would say over the last couple days I have been like "OK God, I'm not going to worry about it"... and I haven't. Yes I've been upset but I don't think you could classify my thoughts with worry. That's pretty good, isn't it?

Once again Prince Charming has saved the day. Thank you Jesus for saving me yet another time, forgive me for my doubt.


During these times of struggle in Haiti it's important to ask ourselves these questions:

Does our generosity come out of greed?
Do we give to charities just to cause a reaction?
Do we do things for others out of want for attention?

I'm pretty speechless about that. Sometimes we "think" that we do things out of pure desire to help, but we are in fact humans and there are always other things that justify our actions.

Give greatly this week.

I'm running the race but it seems too hard to win...

Ugh. What do you do when you know you're supposed to trust God and you try to trust God that everything will go right and you'll be happy again, but on the other hand, you know there's a chance it won't.

Well, for your information, that's the devil standing on your shoulder -telling- you that you should go out and do drugs because your life is ruined and you're better off being a mean person... but WHAT about the angel on your other shoulder saying, it's gonna be OK but that doesn't mean it's not going to suck.

I have currently misplaced, no, LOST my camera. My brand new, stunning, beautiful Canon camera. I cannot find it anywhere and I just got it a month ago.

It's not easy for me to trust when I'm pretty sure there's no hope.


Ugh.

I am so happy when I'm at musical practice, but there is no covering up of every other aspect of my life.

I'm still going to pray, hard... because that IS the only hope I have.

Relient K may be the best band in the world.

As long and annoying as my day was, I thoroughly enjoyed every second of it.
Though this post may be more personal than you would expect it to be, I hope that you still get something out of it... "you" being whoever reads this.

Today was so magical. I feel like I'm finally getting my friends back.
For the last couple weeks (or months?) I've just felt I've had a lot of "acquaintances" who I talk to and are friends with, but never really got to know or spend with time with...

Towards the end of the summer I even lost one of my very good friends, but God is slowing revealing his glory to me. I have tried my best to be patient, and now I finally see the beautiful picture ahead of me. This ex-friend and I are reuniting. :)

Sometimes I feel like the people closest to me have never understood the magnitude of the effect this "break up" had on me and my lifestyle. I honestly believe that I have changed for the better because of it, but I KNOW I am put where I am for a reason. Yay for God!

Over the past 3 long days, I've definitely become much more grateful of the people around me, especially parents and teachers.
I'm doing a project in my Student Council class about compassion and I've learned a lot. I thought I was compassionate, but I have a long way to go...


Why are we so afraid to talk to people we don't know very well? Why do we turn away or lower our head when someone we don't know well enough to judge talks to us? What is the HARM in conversation? This is very important.

Her mood's out swinging on the swing set almost every day.

The stress is finally getting to me. All the homework. The big research paper I have due tomorrow. Being at school for 12 hours a day. Trying to be a good leader, daughter, and friend...

I've always been quite the introvert. I'm the kind of person who likes people in small doses. I don't mind being home alone on the weekends. I've found that I like my mom better when I don't see her every hour of the day (no offense, mom). Heck, I've even grown to hate sleepovers because 1) I like my own bed, 2) I like sleeping in, 3) I don't like the awkwardness of waking up, and 4) I like being by myself.
I don't really care if I walk alone in the hallways. I like working on projects by myself. I prefer watching movies by myself. And I especially don't like having people over to my house unless we go somewhere.

Lately, being crammed backstage with dozens of loud teenagers is really getting to me. I know I can be one too, but the level of disrespect meshed with the EXTREME obnoxiousness of kids who really don't care if they have their lines memorized is draining.


I think I've been around people too much lately.

It's true. I'm busy every weekend, get home at 7 on week nights... And Sundays are filled with endless homework, church, and youth group.


I don't know how I will survive tech week next week. We have ONE week till we open and not only are we not prepared, but I am thoroughly annoyed already.


Respect has always been a big issue for me. It really pisses me off when adults get treated in a way that is completely inappropriate. And it's really too bad when a group of kids screw it up for everyone...


"Never underestimate my Jesus. You tell me that there's no hope, I'm telling you you're wrong. Never underestimate my Jesus. When the world around you crumbles, He will be strong.

Are we debating just to win an argument?

Today, I type from MY laptop.

The topic that controlled my thoughts today is one question...

What gets us up every morning?

If you asked this in a classroom or even to a friend, people may say God or friends, maybe even family. But really, deep inside, what makes us WANT to get up? What makes us happy enough to live another day?

When you think about it, we as humans never get a break. I keep looking forward to the end of high school but then I have even more mountains like college and my career looming ahead of me. I really can't imagine being an adult. Every day seems the same: wake up, work, come home, converse with your family, and do it all over again. I finally understand why adults look forward to vacations as much as they do. At least in high school we are distracted from this meaningless life by boys, school, friends, and being "cool". I wonder if the workplace is anything like school...

What do adults have to look forward to? The success of their children? More children? Most adults are married, so the entertainment of "going out" no longer exists. I guess you could look forward to a promotion, but even that doesn't satisfy emotional needs.

And after 40-50 years of endless work and labor, you get a couple years to just hang out and make up the sleep you lost.

This brings two things to mind: 1) Heaven is WHAT GETS ME UP! Because this tragic, boring, pointless life will end and we will forever live with our Creator and all his majesty (Get it?). Every day is another chance to invite more people to this party of all parties. Every day is one step closer to Jesus. 2) I think we as humans have lost track of this "motivation". Suddenly our lives have become centered around worldy, material things. It makes me throw up in my mouth a little. If only we could realize how STUPID this life is and the REASON why God has put us here! Not for enjoyment or to satisfy our "emotional needs". That's what He is here for.

Adios for now, may you wake up joy!

To be or not to be?

And here begins the revival of my blogging career.

I once was a wee blogger, about the age of 11. I blogged about doing chores, riding the bus, and going out for ice cream. As I sit in agony arised over my research paper being due in a mere 39 hours, I ponder the legitimacy of society.

When I interact with someone, a million assumptions skip through my head.

What do people think of me? Through someone else's eyes, what is special about me? It's as clear cut as sarcasm over the internet.

I have judgments about every person I meet. I even judge my best friends. How do people judge me? Are there less obvious things that people criticize me for? What stereotype do people put me in to? Am I really as weird as I imagine, or do other people think and do the same things as me?

Can it be that we are actually more alike than different?

And the big question: What is my purpose? What has the Creator intended that I pursue? What happens if I chose another path without knowing that it is not what God has planned?

As quick and spontaneous as it started, I must go.
Until then, may you scatter joy.